Spiritual dysmorphia

David's wise request in Psalm 51 to obtain true beauty.

It wasn't that John couldn't stop thinking about himself. What he couldn't stop thinking about was the image he projected of himself. So, by focusing on his appearance, he noticed that a particular part of his body deeply displeased him. When, for the twentieth time that day, he looked at his face in the mirror, his anguish grew.

John suffered from "dysmorphia"; that is, the perceptual distortion of the normal morphological pattern of a part of the body. The "imperfections" that those with this condition focus on are things others barely notice. But they exaggerate them and everything seems worse in their mind. That's why some don't even leave their homes, and if they do, they resort to heavy makeup, hats, loose clothing to cover themselves, etc. Beyond this, anxieties and insecurities are always lurking around the corner. In most cases, the solution to this problem lies in psychological treatment.

Spiritual dysmorphia

However, there is a kind of dysmorphia we could call "spiritual," which is far more dangerous. Unlike the other kind, what we dislike is real and deadly. David suffered from it in Psalm 32:3: "While I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all day long." And in Psalm 51 he couldn't stop thinking about his sin. His heart was stained. The fleeting pleasure of a forbidden sexual relationship with Bathsheba no longer existed. What remained were the mortal remains of the faithful soldier Uriah and the innocent child born of that adulterous relationship. All sins leave consequences; but some are harder to bear than others.

Cornered by the guilt that leads to repentance, David writes the cathartic Psalm 51. This confessional record has sustained and encouraged thousands of Christians throughout history who have also descended into the depths of sin and, from there, been rescued by divine grace. Let's analyze these 19 hopeful verses in three sections:

1-Sin confessed, sin forgiven (verses 1 to 6)

Rarely in the Bible is there recorded a prayer so sincere and poetic. These are not merely beautiful words; they are also the pleas of a sinner seeking true repentance through a direct and clear confession, without self-justification or excuses. He does not blame circumstances, his temperament, or the pressures of society. He simply cries out: "God, have compassion on me, according to Your loving-kindness" (Psalm 51:1).

Forgiveness does not operate by any human merit, but by God's mercy. Thanks to Him, this malignant horror of "spiritual dysmorphia" can be uprooted through a threefold action: "blot out my transgressions," "wash me... from my iniquity," and "cleanse me from my sin" (Ps. 51:1, 2). "Blot out," in Hebrew, is the same word –used as a plea– that is used to blot out the writing from a book (Exodus 32:32; Numbers 5:23).

2-Sin confessed, restoration begun (verses 7 to 12)

David pleaded for God to do a work of total cleansing by virtue of the atoning sacrifice of a substitute. Hyssop is a clear reference to the Sanctuary and was used to apply the blood of the Passover lamb (Exodus 12:22) and to sprinkle the priest's purifying water (Numbers 19:18). Not for a moment did David think he could cleanse himself. Thus, he begins the path of purity (of which God calls us to be an example in 1 Timothy 4:12) with the greatest treasure a human being can have: a renewed heart (upon which happiness and holiness are founded, according to Matthew 5:8 and Psalm 51:8 and 12). David's prayer should be ours: "Lord, create in me a clean heart" (Psalm 51:10).

3-Sin confessed, mission underway (verses 13 to 19)

God's transformations are amazing. The bitter experience of a categorical spiritual defeat could now be turned into an opportunity for testimony. David was happy to teach others through his experience so that sinners might return to the right path. He who had exercised solid faith to defeat Goliath and astonishing self-control to only cut off a piece of Saul's robe, had now failed as a man, husband, father, and leader. But God gave him another chance.

Why? Because, when Jesus looks at us, He exercises a kind of "dysmorphia," but a positive one, since He does not see us as we are, but as we can become. Without fear, we can humble our soul asking for forgiveness, and then lift up our head and tell of the great things God has done for us.